“I can”

Spending time with my maker is so amazing…yesterday, while i was at SengKang CC doing my kickboxing, I was just thinking whether I wanna take a bus back or just walk back home…walking back home will mean about 45 mins… just then i felt HS speaking to me “walk with me, I have a date with you…”

So i walked back in the cool of the night  just conversing with Him, walking across the stretch of green field under the the pitch dark clouds, and enjoying the breeze …I just felt His presence, and strangely happy & contented… I was reminiscing the past, and telling him of all my weakness and imperfection… sorry for breaking your heart Lord, for failing again and again… I told him that I find it difficult to even accept myself and I wonder who can? Just then… He spoke so quickly in my heart “I can”

wow Lord just so in awe of your grace, mercy and your unconditional love! Who am I Lord?

 

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Time is running out

I was studying in the afternoon and listening to the P&W songs… I wasn’t even concentrating to what I was listening. All of a sudden, I felt the presence of God and I felt a desire to start praying for the lost people. There was also a thought that kept recurring “time is running out, time is running out”  Then He spoke to me that one day I would see Him face to face and for eternity, but there are people whom He loves who would never ever see him again.

As I was praying, it felt as if God was pleading for the people to come to Him. My heart was so overwhelmed, and I felt so broken and helpless. “What can I do Lord?” That day, God gave me just a glimpse of how He felt for the people. I don’t think my heart can take it if He shows me all of it.

I was reminded of a vision I received many years ago. I saw 2 paths, one leading to heaven and the other eternal separation from God. I was walking on the path that was filled with light, and as I looked to the other path, I saw some people who are walking down the path of darkness. Just then its like the Holy Spirit speaking to me, “all you need to do is to tell them that heaven is on this side.”

Time is really running out. What should the people of God do? How should we live?

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anger vs passion

I have completely ditched this blog for FB. There are benefits in blogging though, as I read through my past entries, I’m just so touched by His faithfulness in my life. Then I realised that my memory is failing me and I can’t recall what I have done in the past. Hence, this blog serves me well.

Yesterday I was jogging near my estate, after a long while. I was running across the road when a car turned in, and it was really closed to me. But nothing happened and I really didn’t see it coming, thus I continued to run. The car driver started to honk angrily and several times at me, then he scrolled down the window and shouted at me “You wanna die, is it?”  I did not know what got into me, but i was so angry, and I felt so unjustified and thought, what gave this guy the right to shout at me like that. Hence I turned back and ran after the car into the carpark. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind 😛 I didn’t care if I would lose my face, or what the consequences will be…hehee… All I had in my mind was that I had to confront him.

Then I followed his car into the car park, but he drove fast (why am I not surprised?) and I lost him as a result. It was quite a big car park and I actually ran around it trying to catch sight of that car. I couldn’t find it, and continued my running and fuming. As I was going on my way, I was just reflecting why I felt that way, and I myself, was surprised at my response. Just then, I felt  the Holy Spirit  speaking to me in a small still thought… “would  your passion for me be as strong as your anger?”

At that point of anger, I felt I could risk “my face”, and do “whatever” it was to get even. However, regretably at times, when God challenges me to do certain thing, I would feel self conscious, inadequate and I didn’t dare to obey. Sometimes even though I see things done that aren’t honouring to Him, I didn’t “rise up” in my passion for Him. Instead, I just try not to see it and blend in if its possible. It just makes me wonder why is it that I have no fear in my anger, but when it comes to the things of God, there is so much holding back? Shouldn’t my passion for Him be stronger than my anger?

I heard someone said this “If you wanna see God’s face, you’ve got to lose your face.”

Life is really short. It’s never about me, but all about Him.

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