Today, I received a vision from Him during worship:

There were 2 roads, one showing a wide and comfortable road, and the other was a narrow road filled with trials and difficulties. The difference in these two roads was the presence of God. Though the first road was wide and comfortable, it was void of God’s presence and though the other narrow road was difficult, His Presence was there. I saw another picture of the heavenly Father holding the hand of a child on a beam. At times when the child was about to fall, He extended his hand to support him.

And God asked me “which path are you going to take?”

I thought to myself, how would I live a life without His presence? Although it may be comfortable and smooth sailing, God is not going to be with me!! How terrible that will be!!

I think the path I am gonna to take is clear, isn’t it?

Then God spoke to me “I am worth it.”

He added “I am your heavenly Father. 那你在怕什么?”

说真的，我在怕什么？

我怕的是神你不在我身边。

As they hardly come  to Singapore, my parents and I would flourish them with gifts. I bought them food, cars, lanterns and even toothbrush. While we always teach my elder nephew to share, this word doesn’t seem to sink-in well with him. In fact, his favourite phrase is “it’s mine!” When i touched the car I gave him, he would say “it’s mine.” Or when I ate from the bunch of grapes i gave him, he would say “it’s mine.”It ‘s such an  irony when I was the one who gave him in the first place!

On another note, I realise I do this often to my heavenly Father too… while He gives me time, money and resources I sometimes clench my fist and say “It’s mine!”

Hmm….is it really mine to begin with?

I feel like I am going through a “blue” season in my life. A mixture of feelings, unanswered questions, decisions waiting to be made, the process of waiting, fears of the unknown…

“Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

So i walked back in the cool of the night  just conversing with Him, walking across the stretch of green field under the the pitch dark clouds, and enjoying the breeze …I just felt His presence, and strangely happy & contented… I was reminiscing the past, and telling him of all my weakness and imperfection… sorry for breaking your heart Lord, for failing again and again… I told him that I find it difficult to even accept myself and I wonder who can? Just then… He spoke so quickly in my heart “I can”

wow Lord just so in awe of your grace, mercy and your unconditional love! Who am I Lord?

As I was praying, it felt as if God was pleading for the people to come to Him. My heart was so overwhelmed, and I felt so broken and helpless. “What can I do Lord?” That day, God gave me just a glimpse of how He felt for the people. I don’t think my heart can take it if He shows me all of it.

I was reminded of a vision I received many years ago. I saw 2 paths, one leading to heaven and the other eternal separation from God. I was walking on the path that was filled with light, and as I looked to the other path, I saw some people who are walking down the path of darkness. Just then its like the Holy Spirit speaking to me, “all you need to do is to tell them that heaven is on this side.”

Time is really running out. What should the people of God do? How should we live?

Yesterday I was jogging near my estate, after a long while. I was running across the road when a car turned in, and it was really closed to me. But nothing happened and I really didn’t see it coming, thus I continued to run. The car driver started to honk angrily and several times at me, then he scrolled down the window and shouted at me “You wanna die, is it?”  I did not know what got into me, but i was so angry, and I felt so unjustified and thought, what gave this guy the right to shout at me like that. Hence I turned back and ran after the car into the carpark. I wanted to give him a piece of my mind I didn’t care if I would lose my face, or what the consequences will be…hehee… All I had in my mind was that I had to confront him.

Then I followed his car into the car park, but he drove fast (why am I not surprised?) and I lost him as a result. It was quite a big car park and I actually ran around it trying to catch sight of that car. I couldn’t find it, and continued my running and fuming. As I was going on my way, I was just reflecting why I felt that way, and I myself, was surprised at my response. Just then, I felt  the Holy Spirit  speaking to me in a small still thought… “would  your passion for me be as strong as your anger?”

At that point of anger, I felt I could risk “my face”, and do “whatever” it was to get even. However, regretably at times, when God challenges me to do certain thing, I would feel self conscious, inadequate and I didn’t dare to obey. Sometimes even though I see things done that aren’t honouring to Him, I didn’t “rise up” in my passion for Him. Instead, I just try not to see it and blend in if its possible. It just makes me wonder why is it that I have no fear in my anger, but when it comes to the things of God, there is so much holding back? Shouldn’t my passion for Him be stronger than my anger?

I heard someone said this “If you wanna see God’s face, you’ve got to lose your face.”

Life is really short. It’s never about me, but all about Him.

I never thought that i would feel so much about leaving this place. When did i start to embrace this place as my home? 

I have my fair share of complaints, struggles and questions. But now looking back, this has been one of the best experiences in my life. The people whom i have known, the friendships we’ve shared despite our obvious differences, learning their way of life, their passion, language and sharing lives together.

I’m just thankful to be here.

You are amazing if you are still checking out this space…hahaaa… So many things happened that I don’t even know where to start. To make up for lost time, I will have a super long entry. I shall start with some thanksgivings…

I learnt driving in Chile! It was an achievement for me cos i had to learn everything in Spanish and the theory test was in Spanish too. Also I had to accustom to driving here cos its left hand drive here and the roads are off an opposite direction. Plus the drivers here honk a lot and drive recklessly. I didn’t pass my first practical test cos on the test day, i realized the car I had to drive was a new car. I accelerated the car too rapidly; the poor instructor was hanging on to the seat for his dear life.

Then I went for my second test 15 days later. I drove from my driving institute to the test place and I was all geared up for the test. Then I had to wait for the examiner with my driving instructor. He was explaining to me that there were 3 instructors. One who was very lenient, the other was strict and the third was very strict. My previous examiner was the middle one. He told me that he had 5 students the other with the super strict instructor and everyone failed. I told him to look for the lenient examiner and we were joking that we had to hide our examination slip from the third examiner in case he asked us to take the test with him. Just then the third examiner walked by, he looked at me and he said “vaya conmigo.” Which means come with me… I was groaning… I mean buy toto also not so “zhun”.

I went into the car, checked the mirrors, stepped on my brake, released my handbrake, changed the gear and all ready to go. The examiner was checking my test slip, just then I saw my driving instructor standing in front of the car. He was trying to tell me something… I didn’t put on my seat belt! Gosh…just in time…heheee…

I drove according to his instructions and everything went well. I returned to the parking lot but I didn’t park well. The back of the car wasn’t straight. He said “Estacionas mal” which means you park badly. My heart sank. Then he told me to park again. So I changed the gear and accelerated but the car couldn’t move and it went dead. I tried that a few times and I didn’t know why I couldn’t move the car. He asked me for the reason but I couldn’t tell him. Just then, I realized that I didn’t release my handbrake!! Que tonta! I kept telling him “perdon. Perdon” (sorry, sorry). I managed to park well this time but in my heart I didn’t think I could make it. After parking, he asked me a question (something about the distance) in Spanish. He spoke very fast and I couldn’t understand. I told him to repeat and that my Spanish wasn’t good. He gave me a good 5 minutes lecture on why I shouldn’t have a license in Chile if my Spanish wasn’t good. In order to appease him, I just told him 10. He asked me 10 what? 10 animals, 10 persons or 10 what? I said 10 km. He said no. I said 5. He said no. The answer was 1 km. I thought that I was a gonner and my heart sank…cos if I failed this time I had to wait for a month or so and to convert my license in Singapore I needed to have the license then.

The examiner then passed me my test slip and said “toma”. I asked him if I passed and he said yes!! So I passed and I have a chilean driving license! Ok… I know after this entry, I may have problems borrowing cars from my dear friends… But trust me, I can drive! So long if I release my handbrake =P

Another thanksgiving, God has been providing us! Christine has found a new job as a teacher’s trainer, something that she has wanted to do. Karen has a job from Singapore in which we can work from home.

We are also organizing an event at the end of July. This event is an exhibition for companies who are interested to do business in China. There are about 50 of them and mega food companies in Chile. So for now, I have to hunt for Chinese who can be ushers and actors for this event. It’s pretty fun and difficult at the same time. I realized that there aren’t too many Chinese in Chile.

We are having and also starting a number of kids’ classes. I’ve never thought that i could teach kids and it’s really not easy. However the satisfaction is tremendous. Our 2 year old kids can sing Chinese songs and a 5 year old boy can speak mandarin with our accent. Not bad indeed! With these open doors, we are thinking of the possibilities of starting a children church cos we have a few couples whom we can connect to the church.

On another note, its freezing cold here… brrbrrr.. and its not good for my waistline cos i have a greater tendency to munch! But karen and i are going to the gym, to balance out…hahaa.. and a great way to meet people too. Anyhow, I love the view in Santiago now. We can see the mountains filled with snow surrounding us, its spectacular just drinking in all of it. It’s especially breathtaking when the sun sets and the sunlight reflect on the snow-capped mountains… It’s really beautiful. I tried to take pictures of them but it didn’t do justice to them. We are planning to go ski the next month.

Lastly our cute puppy has grown into a tigress! She has very long legs..Shawn calls her the “Super model dog”. I’ll leave this entry with her pics..

Dec was quite a fruitful month for us.

We had our Navidad con las estrellas. This was one of the projects we worked together as a team.

I was trying to act out a word… wanna guess what it was?

Our very special guests

Paula, one of my students kindly invited us to their house for a Christmas dinner. Her grandma was a wonderful cook.. One of the best meals i had in Chile =) Plus, they are really hospitable… love their family

A splendid meal

Getting ready to attack!

A beautiful family

Then we went to a children home to distribute presents. They were really adorable and I realised that i wore the same shirt as last year.

31 Dec 2008!!
We went for a countdown at downtown. It was madness…
The fireworks were great but we were under a big tree so we couldnt have a proper view

We were estatic nevertheless and cheers to a New Year!

The ladies =)

Thank God for 2008. I cant believe how time has flown!! Thank God for His faithfulness in my life. I am growing really fond of Chile. I am grateful for all the friendship i’ve established, the people I’ve known, the language I’ve acquired, the job i’ve grown to love, the team that he’s brought together in this far away land. 2008 will be a year I’ll remember for life =)

Anyhow, i shared my first teaching in Spanish last week! Sad that it took me so long but i was really ecstatic as the Lord helped me to overcome my fears to share my heart in Spanish and without looking much at my notes! It was a tremendous breakthrough for me…yeah!

The Lord also answered our prayers faithfully. We prayed that God will bring new students to our business. Normally Jan and Feb are very cold months in Chile cos everyone will go on vacation, moreover we are in the economic crisis thus people may not wanna take courses. But the Lord never fail to surprise us. We had quite a number of new students in the past weeks and we have just started an English class for the kids =) It’s true that when we put Him first, He will never short change us!

These were some of the booths we had…

An imitation of the bamboo dance…

Bassey, from Hope Auckland dropped by at our event too

Shawn, Christine and Jiexian did a great job liaising with the students despite their limited spanish. This was also our first project as a team =)